Therapists Aren’t One Size Fits All- 5ish Questions to Ask When Choosing Your Therapist

Think of a therapist like that glass slipper in Cinderella. Try as they did, those evil stepsisters squeezed those giant tootsies into that slipper without success, as there was only one foot that would be the perfect fit, Cinderella. Well, you are that foot and your therapist is that glass slipper. It's like Goldilocks and the three bears; this bed is too hard, this bed is too soft, this bed is... You see where we are going here with our fairytale analogies. Here's the thing, not every therapist fits every client and vice versa. Take it from us therapists we want you to get the right fit, even if that means ghosting us after a consult or breaking up with us after therapy begins. Healing and growth can only take place in an environment where there's trust and a safety. The therapeutic alliance that you and your therapist will build is the true foundation for a successful therapy journey.

So, how do I find the perfect therapist fit you ask? The answer is easier than you think. Ask questions! You are essentially interviewing a therapist for a very important role in your life your health and your wellness. You and your therapist will collaborate in your care, with you guiding your treatment every step of the way. You wouldn’t purchase a home just because it's for sale. Well, in this housing market you might have to, but typically you research, identify pros and cons, assess the “vibe” and make an educated decision before jumping in. Take this mindset with you in selecting a therapist to work with.

Here are some questions that can help you in selecting your therapist....

1- Cha-Ching, Bada Bing... What is your per session rate? Do you accept my insurance?

TIP: Remember, therapy is an INVESTMENT, an investment in YOU. You are worth it!

2- What type of sessions do you offer? In person? Virtual Video? Telehealth?

TIP: If wearing stretchy pants, or no pants at all because of pandemic remote work has become your thing, you may want a therapist who offers Telehealth or Virtual session options whereas if you haven’t figured out how to unmute yourself on a Zoom call yet, in person may be your jam.

3- Describe to me your ideal client?

TIP: Most therapists will have specific niche areas that they specialize in, and often have specific training, certification and offer specific treatment modalities related to their niche. Age, Gender, presenting problem, culture, religious identification, etc. are all examples of niche areas.

4- What is you education and experience background?

TIP: Therapists come with many different credentials, licenses, and educational backgrounds. The co-authors of this article are both psychotherapists licensed to practice therapy in California, but one is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and the other is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC).

5- How would you approach my concerns?

TIP: These are the nuts and bolts of how us therapists do what we do and where our therapist lingo appears. What theoretical approach we are aligned with (strengths based, psychodynamic, humanistic, etc.), what treatment modalities we use (CBT, DBT, IPP, SFBT, etc.), how is progress measured, etc.

Don’t forget therapists are humans too, not every question has to be about therapy, get to know the human behind that life changing therapy! Here are some memorable questions we have been asked by clients:

“Do animals and children run to or away from you?”

“Do you like guacamole?”

“Which Harry Potter House do you belong to?”

“Coke or Pepsi?”

“If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?”

“Are you going to make me talk about my feelings, feelings suck?”

And the best question we have both been asked, “Why did you become a therapist?’ The collective answer is: Because of YOU! You are our why and we are humbled to be welcomed on your journey. Oh, and because we have to work to give our dogs the fabulously spoiled lives they demand.

Now, go take that freshly pedicured foot of yours (self-care first), Cinderella, and go find that glass slipper of a therapist that will feel like the perfect fit. Hurry, once that clock strikes midnight, we may just turn back into pumpkins.

Shanda Brennan, MSW, CSW, LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, psychotherapist and founder of Let It Be Psychotherapy serving clients in California, Colorado and Utah. Shanda supports women at all stages of life to grow, heal and find the emotional balance they seek. More information on Shanda can be found in her profile located under "Meet Our Therapists."